If we don’t really possess things, how much less do we possess the people in our lives. The very nature of our relationship to them, if it is a truly loving human relationship, is freedom, even though it may include commitment and obligation. To really love someone—a spouse, a child, a colleague, or a friend—is to recognize that they are not us, that they have needs, aspirations, and lives that do not belong to us and that we cannot control. Can we appreciate and give ourselves to them without fixating on what they will give us in return? Can we allow them their freedom and autonomy? Love like that may be the highest form of the practice of nonpossessiveness.
Norman Fischer, on the Eighth Grave Precept inTaking Our Places: The Buddhist Path to Truly Growing Up
(Reference: Everyday Zen - 3 Versions of the Zen Precepts)